


At Your Worst

by Nihonkikuasa211



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: Angst, Christa Loreson's Son, Mentions of Death, Mentor-Student Relationships, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 09:25:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5534651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nihonkikuasa211/pseuds/Nihonkikuasa211
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After 1x05, Dr. Hudson has a conversation with his student.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At Your Worst

_At Your Worst_

“Hey.”

                Christa looked behind her and saw Neal – Dr. Hudson, she corrected herself, walking towards her.

                “How’s your mom?” The blond intern asked immediately.

                The attending appeared surprised by her question, and he was silent for a moment before he answered.

                “She is good. She’s resting with my father now,” he said quietly. Christa looked at him as a pensive expression came over his face. Most of the staff had gone home, including Malaya, who had worked when the entire hospital thought that what the patients had, including Dr. Hudson’s mother, a contagion. The blond remembered of Dr. Hudson’s tense conversations with his father, the older doctor reprimanding him for not allowing his mother to move hospitals or receive more care. Christa felt the tension in the room as Dr. Hudson’s mother held her son’s hand, the ice-pack over her eyes as the younger male told his father to never do that to him again.

                Christa had told him about her son, and of how her child had died in her arms. It was during those moments, Dr. Hudson holding his mother’s hand, and the sharp words from his father, that she realized of how close their two history’s had almost intertwined. She never wanted anyone to experience what she had ever again, and Dr. Hudson… _Neal_ , had almost been forced to watch his mother die. Christa had never seen Neal on the defensive. He was the teacher, the instructor. He wasn’t _supposed_ to defend the decisions he made, but Christa had heard him defending his decisions more than she had in the five weeks she had interned at Angels Memorial.

                There were many things that she learned about her mentor from today than she had in the weeks she had known him. It took her only a moment that he had only mentioned his mother once, and it was about courage. He had never mentioned his father. Hearing his father’s critical tone and dismissing his son’s decisions made the intern wonder if their strained relationship was partly the cause of Neal leaving England. Christa understood of how much pain Neal’s father must have been in, fearing for his wife’s life. She had been there too, remembering the arguments she had with her former husband about her son’s treatment. Judging from the lack of tension in his voice when he spoke of his father, Christa supposed that the father and son had an understanding.

                “Thank you, Christa.”

                The blond intern broke from her thoughts and looked at Neal.

                “What?” she asked.

                “I know you weren’t required to him in the quarantine,” her mentor stated. “And thank you for allowing me to let go when I needed to.”

                Christa nodded. When a patient had died, she had never seen Neal so desperate before. He had done CPR even though it was clear that the patient had died, his chest heaving as Christa called his name – his actual name – and shook her head. His voice was slightly undone, no one able to look him in the eyes as he stated the time of death.

                “The reason why I decided to go,” Christa said with a faint catch in her voice as she looked at the English doctor, “is because I didn’t want anyone to be alone if…anything happened.” She took a deep breath and looked into his dark eyes, finding herself lost in the dark brown orbs. “I didn’t want _you_ to be alone if your mother died, Neal.”

                He did not mention of how she called him by his name. It was odd. Christa hadn’t thought that the bond between them would advance this quickly, to the point where she was calling her mentor not by his title, but his name.

                “You are very brave,” Neal told her suddenly, and Christa was surprised to find herself closer to him than she had imagined. “I could not imagine losing Mum.”

                “Would you have cried?” Christa asked although she already knew the answer.

                _“I love you. I love you so much.”_

“I would have,” Neal said honestly. His closed his eyes for a moment. “There is nothing to ashamed of crying, Christa.” He followed her shocked blue eyes with his dark brown. “I have cried many times during my years here, and there are patients’ whose lives or deaths touch us that we cannot help but to allow your emotions take over what we have learned.”

                “I…” Christa faltered. The words were on her lips, and she looked at Neal with his understanding expression. “I still cry about my son.”

                “That is good, Christa.” Neal was directly across from her now, his accent slightly more pronounced to her ears as he spoke. “If you do not feel anything as a doctor, then you do not belong in the field.” He paused for a moment. “You saw me at my worst, and I thank you for not allowing me to be alone,” he stated softly.

                Christa found herself looking back at him as her mentor turned and walked back to the hospital room where his mother was.

_I saw him at his worst_ , she thought, _at least what I saw now. And he thanked me for it._

             For some reason, Dr. Christa Lorenson felt peaceful.


End file.
